Addiction Counseling

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Addiction Counseling

“Wade’s 12 Step Recovery Cocktail”

November 30, 2016 – Written By Kirk Markey

Wade Gets To Work

Wade found addiction counseling tremendously helpful.  His therapist was a recovering cocaine addict named Rita.  Although she herself had experienced great success with 12 step recovery programs, she allowed Wade and her other clients to make their own choices.

In some ways, their sessions were a continuation of inpatient treatment.  With Rita’s help, Wade was beginning to work through the early death of his father.  She speculated that this, along with his genes, was one of the chief causes of his drinking.  And when Rita suggested that losing his father had made him into a control freak, Wade felt something begin to shift inside of him.  He later called this relief.

Causes And Conditions

But she also reminded him, constantly it seemed, that his choices had played an important role as well.  ‘Lots of people lose a parent,’ she said, ‘but most of them don’t drink like you do.’ This is where Wade’s self centered fear entered the picture, especially the regret he felt about his career.  He simply could not come to terms with being “only” a math teacher and not a physicist.

Wade’s regret was a constant theme of their sessions.  His perceived failure darkened everything he experienced.  One day, Rita grew impatient with his complaining.   ‘You have two choices,’ she said, ‘get to work becoming a physicist or get okay with being a math teacher.’

At this point, Wade tried to object.  ‘It’s not that simple,’ he said.  Then he started listing all of the reasons he could never go back to school etc.  Then he talked about his dreams, how he’d always wanted to make a small contribution to science.    Before he finished, Rita interrupted.  ‘A small contribution to science, huh?  ‘Does teaching math contribute to science?’  Wade faltered a bit.  “Yes, he said, but…..”  But he didn’t know how to continue.  Rita, sensing her chance, continued along these lines.  ‘What do you care more about,’ she asked, ‘science or your ego?”   The session ended with Rita asking Wade to think long and hard about his answer.

Wade and 12 Step Recovery

Wade thought and thought, but never came up with an answer.  He cared about physics, sure.  But he cared about his ego just as much.  He could never decide which one mattered more.  One thing was clear however –  that low self esteem and his ego were destroying him.  What Wade thought was his greatest asset had been revealed as his enemy.

Wade suffered this burden a long time.  He wrestled with his ego constantly, worshiping it and despising it by turns.  Then, at a meeting one night, he heard someone say a phrase he’d never heard before.  The phrase was “ego deflation,” and it hit Wade hard.  Not long after, he began to believe that this ego deflation was the purpose of 12 step recovery.  Wade did not know if God existed, but he knew one important thing with certainty – that he could never deflate his ego on his own. For addiction counseling help, please contact Seastone of Delray today.